When I was little, I used to be really really shy. I found it very hard walking up to people or even just walking in public. I couldn't keep eye contact when having conversations with people no matter how close or familiar I was with the person.

Whenever I walked alone in public, especially when I made eye contact with anybody, I would freak out and feel like vaporising or melting into the ground. So many things would be flying through my mind. I would be thinking of how people would judge the way I look or the way I walk, or the way my clothes are or my shoes.. I was always very nervous and uncomfortable anytime I was out in the public. 

Back then the only thing that calmed my nerves was when I had someone walking with me and at the same time involved in a conversation with me, it always helped in distracting me from thinking about how uncomfortable I felt.

If you had met me at that point in my life, you would probably conclude that I was an introvert or I was just an unfriendly person. I actually thought I was an introvert until I understood that introverts aren't shy people but mainly just like to keep to themselves. But in my case, I loved the idea of being around people and having a good number of friends, going out and doing fun things with people, the problem was that I was just too shy and self conscious.

I had a terribly low self esteem. I felt like I had to be perfect to be accepted by people.

There were so many things being shy stopped me from doing. I loved to sing, but no one around me had ever heard me sing because I was too shy to sing around people. 

Anytime I wanted to sing, I would literally check if there's anyone closeby, then after double checking to be sure that no one can hear me, I'll end up singing in a very low tone that even if you were sitting beside me you would have to strain your ears to hear me.

I got into the University and with time I was able to get involved in some activities that mandated me to interact more with people which really helped my confidence.

I read books, I watched YouTube videos, I did a lot of research on it, I observed other people, I asked questions.. I was frustrated by my lack of self confidence and I wanted it to end.

During my period of research, reading observing and praying about it I realized and learnt a lot of things

People around you aren't focused on those little things you're always bothered about like how you coordinate your steps or how perfectly you matched your clothes or how you talk. Most people are engrossed in different thoughts about their own personal things and may not even notice those tiny imperfections that are so glaring to you.

Being shy and having little confidence in yourself is a very big hindrance for anybody. You will miss out on so many opportunities because you'll be too shy to do the necessary things, even when you really want to do them.

If you're a shy person like I was or you're struggling with self confidence, know that people actually want to see the real you, they will appreciate and connect with you a lot more when you loosen up.

One of the things that helped me loosen up was having friends that were very jovial and outspoken. The truth is, if you stick to people that are as shy as you are, you will probably never overcome that shyness. Your circle of friends are bound to influence you, be it positive or negative. So if you want to become outspoken, then you've got to find friends that are outspoken so they can rub it off on you and you can learn and be challenged by them.

PS- I made a YouTube video where I talked all about it in more detail.. You can head over there and watch it, and possibly subscribe and check out other interesting videos of mine too😍

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